Assessing oneself (myself)

I was busy browsing my friendster last night about my friends' updates, just killing my time before i go to sleep, that became a routine already, i mean, browsing my friends on friendster.. getting updates on what's new with their lives.. eventhough i know we are all living in different worlds now, i just couldn't let go of the fact that somehow, once in my life, that person on my friendster list, was a part of my childhood, or part of my growing years, a part of my adolescence, a part of me forever.

It was kind of fun knowing that my elementary best friend passed her board exam. And knowing that my college friend is a teacher now (We are BSA majors for crying out loud). or one of my highschool kaberk is studying in Canada after topping her board exam in Pharmacy. It was kinda fulfulling to know that they are happy with the roads they choose. And it pains me when i saw that one of my friends is miserable with her lovelife right now. I truly wish her well. She deserved to be happy.

And then I browsed again for friends' updates, Some of my classmates (okay these classmates belong to the WHO ARE MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED GRP if you know what i'm trying to say, you go get the picture) got married already. Some gave birth. Some have their own family. Others have different career but mostly their updates are about their lovelife. I was shaking my head while reading those updates. Life is really ironic, looking at them now, i was like, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?? these are the people who topped the class! the one expected by the teachers that would climb the ladder of success! and where are they now? if not married, probably feeding their babies or waiting for their husbands to come home. While some of the mediocre people during earlier yrs really blossomed. Some really got their career boomed. I am not judging them, nor implying that i am way better than them now. Because I am not. If they are happy with their choices, that's fine by me, that's their life to live.

And then something hit me. What about me? Did I change? if they would ask anything about me, I would say that I am still the same. But different. It's hard to explain.. Somehow I knew I am way different now from that shy little girl from the fishponds. I've lived a life where dreaming was very far beyond my reach. Yet I was so happy then. And Contented. My life was complete. I am living a life right now as if I'm living my dreams into reality, and I can say that my life then was way far from the way I'm living my life right now - fast paced, career-oriented, cynical world. In my heart of hearts, I know I am living my life the way I perceived it to be- but still, how come that happiness seemed so unattainable?

Maybe I should get easy with life. or I was expectin more than what Life could offer me. But Could i blame myself for asking for more? All I want is to live and be happy. Is that too much to ask?

Chinese, Anyone???

Okay, i know i'm being a stereo type female chauvinist here but what the heck this is so funny.. and true.
I got this from a blog of a chinese/singaporean.

Who says our English is easy?
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective,
etc.........
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want
in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other
outlets for you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporeans: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: S-kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:No-need, lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: (pointing the door) can ar?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't be shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
ingaporeans: Don't want la...
iN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: You mad, ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime.. Do I know you?.
Singaporeans: See what see?!
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Wat happen Why like that....
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Singaporeans: What the f...!