wowowie

i've just watched wowowie and i think their episode for today totally sucks. they invited katutubo's (natives) and they were playing the game Pera o Bayong - a game in which the hosts ask questions and they would pick answers from three different colors. i think what they did was inhumane. i know they just want to reach out and help those people and they don't intend any harm to them, but that was just way too low, in the first place, they know that those people were illiterate, or what you call no read no write, and it was so stupid for them to ask questions that they would know that those people could not answer. it was like embarrassing those people in front of the whole world. the staff of that show were not thinking clearly when they decided do that game. I think all the natives feel so small while doing that show. You could see it in their actions.

There are a hundred ways and more to help them in a way that they would not feel something like that. They could do something that they could be proud of. hey, it is not just about giving and reaching out - they should at least give credit and respect to those people. and besides, we are all equal in the eyes of God.

Current Obsession

Lately i have been obssessed with fragrances - now it's one of the reasons why my credit cards are always sky limits high. I have this sudden urge to grab the bottle and buy it. Within this week i think i already bought 3 bottles - Very Irresistible by Givenchy, Sunset Heat by Escada and Body by Victoria. (and that still excludes the body lotion, bath bubbles and body scrubs from Victoria's Secret). I am not a vain person, and i seldom use perfumes. i just want to put them in the cabinet till i get tired of watching them glow. Tsk tsk tsk.. talking about being Pathetic..

last sunday that was..

012107 - my 24th birthday. 24 years of existence in this world. sometimes i wonder what my purpose really is. 'Cause they say each of us has a certain role to play. a certain mission. do i matter? does anybody really care for me? does my whole existense really mean something? one of my classmate posted in her shout out something like this, that if you are still alive, you're mission in this world isn't over yet. sometimes i wonder if that's true - for i realize that breathing is a lot different from living. sometimes i just feel worthless. there is nothing to look forward to. i feel so empty.

heck, what am i talking about here, jeez.. it's just the drink in me.

Cheers, Everybody! for the 24 f****ing years of my life!!

LET IT GO

Let it go for 2007...
By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.Let them go.And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......LET IT GO!!!If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left.. think about it, and then ...LET IT GO!!!"

....The Battle is the Lord's!"

---------

one of my highschool friends sent me this thru e-mail. i love the message, how I wish it could be that easy to let go.

who cares? i do.

I haven't got the slightest idea that caring for somebody could hurt so bad. Until now. I just couldn't possibly imagine that I would end up feeling like this - like a frustrated loser. Just for caring soo darn much. There's this part of me that just wanted to be numb, while the other part of me was torn into pieces because even though i was hurting, i know that i still care. Even after all the betrayal and frustration. I still care. I don't know what to call myself - pathetic? selfless? stupid? maybe all of them.

I wish emotions were like a computer that i could turn on and off any time i wanted to. I could restart my life anytime i want or you know, just hibernate. or even shut down. That way I wouldn't feel the pain.

Maybe time will come that I would get used to this kind of feeling. Maybe one day i would be able to stand up and tell the whole freaking world that instead of saying I care, it would be, Who cares? But for now I would just keep my feelings shut.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to feel this way. Who wants to feel pathetic, anyway? Definitely not me. I want to start caring for myself more than i care for that somebody else. It'll come. I know. Maybe not now. But it will soon.

I learned my lesson the hard way. That even if you care so darn much, some things are just not meant to be.

busted

It's 2007 already and that's how i feel - Busted! Christmas was a wreck (talking about having a MAJOR disappointment on that supposedly Special day) and New Year just come and go - just like that. I'm so busy right now, so pressured with my job (in which I couldn't just give up) and I SHOULD learn how to DRIVE!!! and ironically, he told me not to because I could get into a sticky situation or anything by driving! darn! you could imagine my face wanting to laugh and cry in frustration that time. and this migraine really sucks!

Added to my major disappointed was that Buddhist Monk who told me that my 2007 is going to be dreadful for me, yeah right. I was like having the time of my life last December 24 and then that news came to me - and all my dreams and aspirations for the coming year vanished into thin air.

Not that I am blaming him (buddhist monk) for what he told me. In a way what he told me was based on Numerology, so it deals with science, too right? I gave him my birthdate and that's what he saw. He told me that 2007 was gonna be a lot harder for me (HEALTH, CAREER, FINANCE, LOVE) great!! I was like, Gosh, 2006 was already hard for me, and still could get worse??!! I don't know if I'm still gonna survive this wretched life!

And what really busted me bigtime was knowing that my whole year gonna suck like hell.

I do not believe in Fortune Telling, because i believe that I am the one choosing my FATE, but now, a week after New Year, and I am living my life like this - it totally freaks me out.


so that's it. I think I am so BUSTED. Bigtime.